Magyarul szeretném elolvasni: KATT >>>
A week ago I wrote down in my mother-tongue how life leaded me to live through for a while the fate of nurses. Next to this post at the side bar as I mention usually, there’s a post translator provided by Google, so if you speak English or Indonesian and used it before, this gonna be a more clearer explanation for you. If not and you’re a visitor here for the first time, then enjoy my memory lane. 😊
I retrospect to my original profession a little, which is a very popular topic every day in Hungary beside Islam, too. But this one remains actual since people always needs health care including humane and practical nurses, no matter what age we write.
I left professional career quite quickly despite the love I was feeling for it, however for those who knows me very well my decision is not a big surprise. Public servant life is definitely not for me and on the other hand I’m not in a need to go back to work to that area (alhamdulillah)
And what about those ones who stay obligated for their entire life…?
I was 18 and few months before high-school graduation I was determined to continue my studies in the area of dentistry. Was studying human subjects mainly since we could choose different study track to go on beside basic subjects (Math, Geology, History, etc) and get specialized. My choice fell on Health studies somehow, despite the fact that originally I submitted for attending this school for its Art & Communication specialization. From Biology I earned pre-graduation in the age of 17, so I was really into nature and behavior of humans (this one haven’t changed with time) Only 4 of us continued on this line, others applied for Economics, Finance and the mentioned Art & Communication.
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But I never wanted to be a nurse. I’d rather started to do anything else, than being a nurse in a hospital. I felt pity for them, coz I thought they are in a big suffer from their low-paid and at the same time stressful lifestyle. So roughly my opinion was their life is shit.
Once a young nurse visited our class at the third study year of high-school and told us about her job exhaustedly and with a huge apathy. I smelled burn-out sydrome. She said if some of us have the ambition for going to be nurse, they have to count with teachers and head-nurses who toss you into a deep water and let you fight alone getting the chance to develope at the wards. Or else, you won’t know anything and lagging behind your mates the only thing you can do is dealing with diapers and bedpans. Wasn’t nice to hear her story, but I was relieved I don’t need to go through this remorseless progress. I trusted in my notions.
Just before graduation I held the letter in my hands which contained the good news: my enrollment was succesful for the desirable dentist assistant course. Naturally, I hadn’t applied for another course after. I wasn’t interested in studying college or university that time yet, but even if I was, I couldn’t make to get in with my medium grades. And I was liable to pay attention for those readings only what managed to catch my interest and raised my awareness. This strongly left mark on my results. High-school subjects were total boredom, my favourite classes were Literature, English and the moduls of Health.
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It was middle of July (2011), when I had to go for check-up to the future school in Szeged city. I jumped onto the bus, waited through the line and when it was my turn, they said to my face simply and nicely: “sorry, no enrollment, we removed the corse.” I stared at them with shocked round eyes and seeing this they remembered to feel embarrassment. No letter, no call, no notification, just like that, and the best thing is it happened months later. I was leaving with a bitter taste in my mouth and though I can keep enough my cool head in situations like that, must had to figure out what am I gonna do next.
“I am standing here with nothing in the middle of summer and seems like cannot go to study anywhere.”
I did my searchs and checked some potential school where they held high level educations after high-school (here we call it “OKJ” course: it’s 3 years long, worths more than a simple professional training and gives you valuable certificate, but it’s still under a college diploma) but they had empty spaces only at financial trainings. Hell, no. Me and Math… Was not a dream of mine to stay in my high-school since I said already goodbye, but couldn’t see any other solution. They held OKJ nurse course. My surroundings forced me to admit, must to try the enrollment or if I skip then I have to go to work to fill my holey year.
They called me very soon after submitting the papers and all the necessary docs: they have one more space for me. Thank God, fiuhh! I became overjoyed and although none of the inches of my body and soul wanted to study this in the past, I felt proudness 😊
The taboo shadow of being nurse
I figured out, the most important attribution you have to own as a nurse is flexibility and an “itsy-bitsy” multifunctionality. Nobody gives shit how much you learned. You can forget about the 90% of your knowledge with a calm heart after the final exam. They expect you to know only the basics – but that one precisely – and later you will learn the practical part too, what is not like in the books at all. Oh yeah, very nice if you can give all the necessary devices in the doctor’s hand at a diagnostic examine but if you don’t know how to assist him, that’s awkward. Not to mention changing diapers – unfortunately I know many nurses who is bragging about their paperwork, but not bothering their smugness to leave the patients in their poo at the whole shift.
Alhamdulillah as badly I didn’t want to be nurse, so I loved learning and got excellent. But when the first official work day has arrived in my life, it felt like these three years hasn’t happened to me or at least I just dreamt of it; I had to start over most of the things.
At practices you can’t avoid burnings as a student nurse, but as an intrant I had my red cheecks and ears more often. I didn’t know what to do or just barely, I was mad at my school for giving me not a fully proper education. My classmates went through the same, but still felt like I am the one who is full of mistake. However, I had a weakness which was my strength as well at the same time: my intensive empathy. I spared time for talking to my patients and started to listen to their real needs, the source of problems. For example why is the middle-aged lady at room 12 so grumpy? What’s the old man’s reason for rejecting food at room 16?
I tried to understand them and their situation. And there were days, when a few gentle words and a little soft touch made miracle with them at the grey and impersonal everydays (this works only if they have clear mind.) At those moments I succeed to earn some sense of achievement among clumsinesses.
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“30 years hard work and you won’t see things like that!” – says older nurses usually. But, yeah, it just works like that. But our strength and patience has a limit. There is a “Human” category, and inside it there are the “Healthy” and “Patient” subcategories. And outside this circle there’s the “Nurse” category in separate, according to the system. We know plenty of people who starts their career with a huge enthusiasm and loved every single minute of their job, but later working conditions created a nightmare for them – becoming a disabled, sour someone who can’t see the value of life and the only things they think of that paying the bills, feeding their kids and saving money for their operation, coz with time they became patients, too.
They advise us lot of times, we should listen to the elders – ok, let listen to them, but if we ask for advice from a nurse in her 50s, who has two job in two different hospitals, works in three shifts and having reuma, her answer is: ESCAPE!!!!!
I wish I can write “ok, let’s put joke aside” but this is the sad truth. They’re out of spares, no resupply, no chance and time for taking rest and patients are more and more. The expections are unreal. And after everybody’s complaining that nurses are jerks, lazy and good-for-nothing. Most of the time that’s not the case. They are exhausted from all perspective. This is not their fault. They also need empathy and understanding. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t make their days even harder and show them some gratitude or say a simple thank you. Don’t think even accidently that at the surgery the queue is long because nurses and assistans not doing anything… Judging is seriously inappropriate. You don’t know totally the other side…
Yes, nurses life are not easy. But now I wrote down negativites, let’s continue with the positivites, why is so cool to be a nurse!
1. Improving your humor of sense
Tho at the beginning being so clumsy giving us uncountable frustration, later from these faliures you’ll create great stories. And on the other hand, after some experience you discover that if you spill the bedpan’s content onto your freshly washed, snow white uniform, it can lead your day to another direction together with your collaegue’s who dying in tears of laugh. The work won’t be lesser and typical that catastrophic avalanche starts its march, however somehow you undoubtedly close your shift as a good one and makes your bond stronger with your team. Plus, it helps you not going crazy.
2. Fast information
Unlike others, who uncertainly looking for informations on the internet about a trustworthiness of a doctor, a kind of examine, medicine or illness, until you get all the important datas straight in your hand. Your field of view becoming wider and the competence of yours getting sharpened. And of course, as a medical worker, you enjoy priority at the surgery of your hospital. This little influence can help you and your family in some situation surely.
3. Effective independence-training
When you managed to get out alive of the deep water your organizational skills and the level of tolerance are strongly increasing. At the wards situations gets formed on daily basis where creativity and solving skills are a necessity. If these traits are not your strength, don’t worry, I guarantee you to learn them super fast there, which gonna be a great help outside in your everydays, too. Good chance to strengthen your character and to become a skillful person.
4. Appreciate life
When you already have met lot of patients, lifes, stories, slowly a thought taking form on your mind that how lucky you are, nevermind how hard you work. Countless patients I bathed or washed in their bed who was feeling ashamed for not being irrespective. I also felt bad for their feelings. Coz they shouldn’t. In those moments I understood, how does it feel when your heart cries.
This is our task, our life goal to make them feel comfortable! Our commitment! Even if I don’t work anymore as a nurse! It is a vocation, a life view you are taking with yourself anywhere you go in this world. Maybe you can’t heal them in certain cases, but we can make them feel as a human of full value – and sometimes this is what cause big changes! And if you meet a fallen, weak soul, who smiling at you and throwing a kiss with her hand in the air when you finish your shift, saying “Can’t wait you to come back!” then it’s impossible to not leave happily even if you feel deadly exhausted. There were days when I had a meditation about that:
“Do I do this for salary or salary is just a bonus?”
I was pondering lot of thing during expounding this post. If anyone asks me about going back to work as a nurse, always shaking my head, especially now since I have a daughter. Not an ideal lifestyle for mothers, coz let me say out: nurses are lone wolves. They have to give up on having family dinners, programs and celebrating together with all the loved ones. But this commitment, flexibility and sense of vocation which makes them hero in our eyes. Coz everyone admire them secretly, when we see them in their uniform and unintenionally bending our head a little or may stoop as well, thinking how to express our respect. We may not saying a word, merely showing a shy smile, however this one, believe me, says more than thousand words.
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